First let us start with describing what attitude is?  In Webster's dictionary attitude is described as:  A state of mind, behavior, or conduct, as indicating one's feelings, opinion, or purpose. However, to me attitude is also a tool that may use to control a situation.  Throughout history one can see how different attitudes helped shape people and cultures, but only a few people seem to really master the technique of controlling their attitude.

Controlling your attitude means that when you're displaying an emotion it's because you need others to see that emotion in order to get a desired reaction or response.  You can observe this on the most basic of levels; observe someone showing displeasure towards a pet or a child and compare that to showing praise.  It's not that we change our hearts from hate to love, but that we control our outward emotion to get a desired reaction or response.  The whole key to having an advantage by controlling attitude is, knowing what emotion you need to exhibit and when.

As you try to master your control techniques, you will learn that not all people respond the same way.  Just as some people need a nudge to jump from a plane, others must be held back.  This too is the way some people might react to your approach in regards to attitude.  The real tool here is, get to know your people, they're not all the same.  You must decide how you will try to guide each person before you start a conversation and then adjust your attitude as you proceed.  Watch facial expressions as well as mannerisms for signs that you are being received the way you had planned.  Don't come on to strong unless you are prepared for a strong response.

Dealing with difficult people in the workplace, is probably, the most challenging part of our jobs.  By determining in advance which attitude you should use when dealing with difficult people you can prevent unwanted stress.  Keep a positive outlook and don't expect results beyond your span of control.  At the very least, don't allow the problem or person to start controlling you and your emotions.  If you feel you're losing control, take a pause or walk away and regain your composure.  Try using the 7 C's.

The 7 C's of a productive conversation are:

• Courage

•  Consideration

•  Consistency

•  Clarity

•  Commitment

•  Capacity

•  Competence

By practicing the 7 C's and implementing them in your conversations you are assured positive results of one form or another.  Lets examine each step of a productive conversation:

• Courage: This relates to speaking your mind and telling your side.

• Consideration: Make sure you try to see the other persons view or prospective.

•  Consistency: Be predictable; don't change your view or beliefs to win favor.

•  Clarity: Leave no doubt where you stand on the subject; fully explain yourself.

•  Commitment: Be willing to follow through with your responsibilities; hold up your end of the deal.

•  Capacity: Don't make promises you can't keep; don't speak for others.

•  Competence: Make sure you are qualified to make all statements.

•  The Aggressor

•  The Egotist

•  The Sneaks

•  The Victims

•  The Negators

•  The Super-agreeables

•  The Unresponsive

By identifying which type of person you are dealing with you can better your odds of a successful conversation.  Let's look at each type more closely.

The Aggressor is hostile, abusive and intimidating.  They always have to be right and will charge like angry bulls if you challenge or cross them.  Take a deep breath and let them blow off steam and express their anger and frustration.  Address them by name to maintain control.  Then state your position clearly and avoid the temptation to argue.

The Egotist is an expert and appears to know more than others should about a particular subject.  Facts are power to egotists and since they know the facts, they feel superior.  Because you cannot "fake it" with egotists, make sure you know the facts and information.  You can also capitalize on what they know by asking questions.  Egotist love to show off and have others appreciate their knowledge.

The Sneaks take potshots.  They undermine your authority in devious ways by using sarcasm, which they often disguise as a joke.  Try to turn their attention and comments to the issues and not the personalities involved.  Once sneaks realize that you won't put up with their sniping, they'll stop.

The Victims see everything negatively, they complain, whine and act defeated.  Since victims often believe no one thinks they're important, start your interactions by listening to what they say.  Steer them toward the facts, which are usually much less negative than what they believe.  Maintain control by bringing up the negatives yourself and then dismiss each logically.  Direct their attention to the more positive aspects of the situation.

The Negators.  Victims seem pale compared to the negators.  Negators aren't just negative they distrust anyone in power.  They think their way is the only right way and their motto is "I told you so."  Stay positive, but realistic.  Delay discussing solutions since negators will dismiss every solution as you bring it up.  Refuse to argue with them and stick with the facts.

The Super-agreeables are easy people to like, but they can be difficult personalities to deal with.  Super-agreeables over-commit themselves and their staffs because they can't say "NO."  Carefully limit how much you ask of them, to help eliminate the disappointments caused by missed deadlines.

The Unresponsive people are the most difficult personalities to deal with.  They don't reveal their true motives and you end up in a guessing game trying to find out what makes them tick.  The most effective strategy is to draw them out with open-ended questions.  Even if the silence between you and an unresponsive person grows chasm-like, wait it out.

There are additional cost factors caused by problem employees.  Problem employees, as a group, are more likely to make poor decisions, and if proper corrective action is not taken, they can increase the turnover among good employees, who get fed up with the misfits' increasingly negative influence.  A terrific cost is paid in terms of loss of group morale and loss of the group's respect for its manager.  Surveyed employees will often complain that they do not understand why management takes no action against people in their work group who are not really part of the team.

Other costs include theft, sabotage, industrial espionage, and even loss of organizational momentum.  Some of these costs can be accurately measured; in other cases, they can only be approximated.  The basic hard question that any management has to ask itself is whether it can afford these people.  Can you afford these people?  Can you continue to live with the financial drag and the hassles they represent in your business?

A lot has been written about the damage done by the problem employee to group morale, but a factor that I've seen almost no mention of is the damage such an employee causes to management morale.  Managers just get so frustrated because they can't solve these problems that it begins to erode their sense of confidence, causing leaders to feel that they are failing.  A substantial amount of management time is invested dealing with these people, time that should be spent dealing with far more important problems, such as, satisfying customers' needs and improving product quality.  Most managers are concluding that they have to clean house, that they must no longer tolerate the sloppiness these people represent and the damage they inflict.  Managers then move to damage control, for a containment of these costs.  If you work in a larger organization, you may find that the cost of these problems is staggering, almost astronomical.  Every manager is bound to have his fair share of problem employees: the lazy, the uncooperative, the emotionally unstable, the chronically late, the substance abusers-, workers who display one or more of a wide array of negative behaviors and attitudes.

In identifying problem employees, a couple of important distinctions must be made.  The first is between the problem employee and the troubled employee; between the worker who habitually causes problems and the worker who happens to be, experiencing pressures, stresses, or difficulties whose effects may be manifested in a temporary display of negative behavior or attitudes.  Determining whether the trouble-maker is a problem employee or a troubled employee will significantly affect how the manager confronts the issue.  The second distinction that must be made involves correctly identifying the source of the problems.  Some "problem employee" cases can, upon closer examination, disclose underlying supervisory or managerial shortcomings.  The root cause must be accurately assessed before the trouble can be effectively managed.

Other organizations, while they may be motivated by the cost argument to take action, are also motivated by a remembrance of their own organizational mission statements and corporate values.  Firms that are truly involved in the search for excellence and are acutely aware of the competitive realities of business know that they have a responsibility to their human resources to call them to a higher level of performance and to reject standards that might have been tolerated in a less demanding era.  We cannot have it both ways.  We cannot be an excellent organization with mediocre people.  We cannot be a strong and effective organization with weak and ineffective people.  So a company's management must choose which it wants.

Our motivations are pure.  We're not interested in hurting people or punishing people; we are interested in achieving worthwhile objectives.  We are interested, too, in challenging people in such a way that they will want to change their behavior in order to accompany us on an exciting and positive journey.  Moreover, when we can deal successfully with difficult people, our coping mechanisms will improve and then we can create win-win situations.

In closing just let me say; encourage people to change.  When we ignore difficult people, they don't change their attitudes.  However, when we support them with a positive attitude and refuse to indulge their behaviors, we encourage them to learn, change and develop their own coping skills for a better tomorrow.